THE GREATEST TWO FIRST PARAGRAPHS IN THE HISTORY OF THE WRITTEN WORD:

I am a very busy and important man. I don’t need to tell you this. The shit I have to deal with every day would make your pubes turn white. Check it: While dictating that last sentence I did something complicated in Excel and pleasured my ex-wife the way that makes her cry and call her mother. OK?

Terrific. Point is, I’m all about maximum efficiency. E.g., I use “e.g.” instead of for example. It’s just faster, and classier.

That’s right, all of written word.  The rest of the article on the perfect length for pop songs found here.  Including this gem of a sentence: “It’s a mere two seconds longer but feels like it drags on for hours.”

By the way, as per usual, thanks to Kottke.